I'm straight...i promise!!!!

How the hell did I forget to tell you guys about this experience. Last year, december 21^st to be precise, Rhythm 93.7fm (a local radio station) had their yearly ‘Rhythm Unplugged ‘ show. This is one of the biggest shows around now and this edition was gathering enough momentum as it was going to feature almost all the happening acts around. A friend of mine (lets say his name is Bob) and I arranged to go, my female friends didn’t want to stay out that late cos it was an all nite thing. So, off we went. The show held at an open ground at one federal Palace Hotels, FPH in Victoria Island.

Performance after performance came and went. The show was really living up to its billing and I wasn’t missing my bed at all. I especially remember Basketmouths’ (a popular comedian) cos he was booed off the stage. Really did feel sorry for him. But this post isn’t about how rhythm unplugged went now is it? No its not.

It was around about 2.30am or so and PSquare (twin music acts, for those that don’t know them) was performing. We were getting a bit bored of their performance cos we've heard their songs over and over again in the past. So Bob and I decided to take a strole around the venue. We walked to the gate which was quite some distance, and back. FHP was built so that part of it overlooked the ocean. Really nice view. Bob and I leaned over the pavement and just looked into the waters for a while. When PSquare had left the stage we returned to our seats for the rest of the show.

There were two girls sitting just after us on the same row. Naturally we got talking. We all ended up staying back after the show cos it was kinda too early to leave. The time now was about 4.50am or there about. The four of us were really talking like we had known long before tonite. I was really wondering why they were so easily flowing with Bob and I, and occasional glances towards Bob suggested that he was thinking the same. Let me attempt to replicate the dialogue that went on between us. Their names were Tinuke and Maureen by the way.

Tinuke: So you guys are close huh?

El: Yeah. Been together for some time.

Tinuke: hmmm…how long.

Bob: For about 4 years.

Maureen: 4 years!! Mehn..thats some long time! You guys are trying o.

El: Well, you know male friendships are known to last longer than female ones. You guys quarrel over the smallest things.

Tinuke: its true sha.

Maureen: So…em…you guys live together?

El: No…we still stay with our parents.(I thought the question was a bit awkward but I suspected nothing of it.)

Bob: you guys…stay together?

Tinuke: Nope.

And so we continued gisting away. They were so easy to talk to. I wondered why all females couldn’t be more open like this. The world will be a better place!

Now, Tinuke was sitted right beside me. As we talked, she did something. She suddenly started stroking my arm. Not like a suggestive stroke, more like a friendly one. Hmm, well maybe these gurls ARE very open, I tot to myself. I let it fly. she didn’t stop there. She then raised her stroking apparatus to my cheek. Straight to my cheek!! I had to ask.

El: Umm…wotchu doing? (don’t get me wrong I didn’t want her to stop but hey, I don’t roll like that! i’ve NEVER rolled like that!!)

She quickly removes her hand

Tinuke: Sorry…I just…

Silence.

More silence.

El: what?...
Tinuke: I’ve never really been around you guys. You’re very easy going.
El: (was that the reason for the touching??) Em…thanks. You guys are ok too.

Bob and I exchanged quick glances. He had this look like ‘what was that all about?’ I just shrugged my shoulders. Then we all stayed silent again. After a while, it seemed she couldn’t hold it any longer…

Tinuke: Why do you prefer guys to girls?
El: As in…how do you mean (I was gradually beginning to make sense of it all.)
Tinuke: Well, unless you are into us girls too. Are you?

JESUS!! CHINEKE!!! ‘What the hell is going on here?’ I thought to myself with a bewildered expression on my face and Bob’s. Apparently she and her friend here thought Bob and I were gay guys. Me the guy and Bob the female to be precise. I don suffer.

El: Tinuke.
Eniola: Yes?
El: Maureen
Maureen: Yeah?...
El: Do we honestly look gay to both of you?
Bob: Honestly??
Iyabo: To us and to like 10,000 other people.
Bob: What??
Tinuke: For God’s sake the both of you have been walking around since. The way you both were leaning over the pavement looking into the water…trust me that was very romantic.

And here we were, Bob and I, thinking we were the coolest guys around! This was really hilarious. We all had a good laugh, the four of us.

P.S: i really do hope they were convinced that we are indeed straight!!